On a Carnival cruise I took two years ago, I saw in the daily schedule a meeting for the Friends Of Bill W. First I thought, gee this Bill W must a be a popular guy. Then I thought about it, and decided it was probably a family reunion, and they had enough people to merit lisiting it in the daily activities.
Then on my cruise last month, I again saw a meeting for the Friends Of Bill W. What are the odds? Maybe it was some sort of club. I also saw a meeting for the Friends Of Dorothy. I thought maybe these were groups or people that met through a website like Cruise Critic or some other place. That they had been chatting online for months in anticipation of their upcoming cruise. Wow! Cool! Maybe I could organize a Friends Of RJ meeting! I thought about dropping in one of the meetings just to see what they were.
Fortunatly I didn’t just drop in. Out of curiousity, I did a google search on the Friends Of Bill W, and found this is a code for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (AA). Man, would I have been embarrassed! I am surely not an alcoholic. I drank a single strawberry daiquiri during entire 8 day cruise. I prefer Diet Pepsi thanks.
Then I saw what the Friends Of Dorothy was. Whoa! That would have made the Friends Of Bill W meeting look like a great place to be as I would have been completely out of place here!
No RJ, you wouldn’t have been out of place at a Friends of Dorothy meeting.
Gay men and Lesbians are perhaps the most persecuted group on the planet, and as a result are very tolerant of others and their individual differences.
You probably would have felt more comfortable at the Friends of Dorothy Meeting than at the Friends of Bill W. meeting.
Comment by dns — July 27, 2006 @ 2:20 am
RJ this is so funny to see as my brother was cruising in April and thought the same thing though he WENT to the meeting, not only that he WENT with a GIANT margarita in hand, imagine his horror when he found out what the group truly was about!!!!
Comment by Lindsay — August 14, 2007 @ 1:23 pm
Lindsey, I have read your comment multiple times, and it cracks me up every time! It is so funny because I can see that happening often! I am sure the Friends Of Bill and the Friends Of Dorothy are used to people wandering into their meetings without a clue! LOL!
Comment by RJ — August 16, 2007 @ 5:51 pm
You would think that once you looked this up and saw this was a Alcoholics ANONYMOUS meeting, key word being ANONYMOUS, you would have kept this post to yourself. Obviously if they wanted the world to know it was an AA meeting, then they would not list it as Friends of Bill W.
Have some respect!
Comment by Friend of Bill W — August 21, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
Actually Friends of Bill W. meetings are for all aspects of recovery, not just AA. You will almost always find some one from GA, NA, SA, OEA etc. The majority of the people in the meetings may be from AA, as it is seen as more socially acceptable. To the person that took the margarita in, had they dropped it off out side, and stayed as a guest, they may have learned something of humanity. People in program are much more tolerant of social anomalies than most outside of a program.
The only thing that really irks me with Friends of Bill W. meetings on cruise ships is that they tend to put them in meeting rooms that you have to go through the casino, past 2 bars to get too. The last time I was on a Cruise i joked that they should have had the pharmacy right next door, then they would have had a tri-fecta of inappropriateness.
Comment by Theodore H. — May 18, 2009 @ 7:30 pm
I always laugh when people become offended at the thought that someone would breach Anonymity by announcing what a friend of Bill W or friend of Jimmy K meeting is all about. UNLESS, it’s for someone who actually needs to find their first meeting; or return to the rooms. These “secret” code words are known throughout the world. It used to be a huge stigma and a dirty secret, now it’s part of life. People often try to over compensate for the anonymous part of the meetings. Please remember, it only means nameless — not super secret. Which means I can say I was there, but NOT that YOU were there. And yes I can say “HERE IS A MEETING!!!” After all meetings lists are posted all over the WEB, and are easily accessible.
I’ve been to meetings around the world, in languages I could never learn, but I still found them by asking for either Friends of Bill W or Jimmy K. Try it some time, airports and hotels are good for it.
Thanks for the smile RJ, and if I have offended anyone; please feel free to call your sponsor.
Comment by Robert W — June 16, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
The only thing that really irritates me with the Friends of Bill W. meetings on cruise ships is that they tend to put in the meeting rooms that has to go through the casino, the last 2 bars for too long. The last time I was on a cruise joked that i should have been right next to the pharmacy, then it would have been a perfect tri inadequate.
Comment by pay stub template — July 3, 2009 @ 11:51 pm
The sixth tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous (and of most other 12 step programs)states “An AA group ought never …. lend the AA name to any …. outside enterprise…” Associating with Carnival Cruises (or any commercial entity) violates this tradition. Hence friends of Bill W. is not self supporting (the 7th tradition)and not a sanctioned AA group. Nevertheless, it facilitates the needs of many traveling AAs who seek the fellowship of others in recovery. Actual AA meetings may be found in most ports of call.
Comment by Ralph S. — February 2, 2010 @ 3:47 pm
I think you guys are giving to much power to the problem and not enough to the solution. I have traveled all over the world and one of the biggest highlights of those travels is finding the meetings and yes… I need them… you see everywhere I go there goes I….
Comment by Cherri Brignac — March 23, 2010 @ 1:08 am
I just returned from a Royal Carribean cruise where the same meeting was posted. The way I understand it, Freinds of Bill W. is a general term that people use to get together in public places, i.e. cruise ships, airports, hotels, without drawing unnecessary attention while away from their home group. It is not meant to be a sanctioned A.A. meeting, just an avenue of support where it is needed. Introduce yourself to an airline flight attendant as a friend of Bill W. and she knows not to offer or serve you alcohol. It’s a wonderful, transparent way for alcoholics to get what they need without offending others who may be ignorant to the program. Listen for it and you will hear it everywhere, don’t listen for it and you’ll never know it’s there.
Comment by Brian R. — June 18, 2010 @ 9:43 am
Well Thanks RJ for posting. I am going on a cruise in 10 days and was looking at an old daily activities list… and I kept seeing friends of Bill w/ Jimmy K. I’m 19 and not an alcoholic or addict or anything else that I would need to go to these meetings. I wanted to try everything on the ship; if it wasn’t for this post I would have been in one of these meetings… Which isn’t a bad thing. But i’ll rather pass.
Comment by Christine D. — July 16, 2010 @ 5:26 pm
My wife had been wanting to go on a cruise for years. When a group of friends decided to go she signed us up. I didn’t tell her but after being sober for 19 years I was a nervous wreck. I knew I could not stand being on a ship with a bunch of people drinking and no way for me to leave. I prayed about it for many months before I told her about what was going on and she wanted to back out from going. I actually called the cruise line and inquired about AA meetings on the ship. They told me there were meetings ‘Friends of Bill W’ on all of there cruises.
My first cruise was very enjoyable and yes I did meet some new friends.
One day at a time………..
Comment by Robert — August 17, 2010 @ 10:12 am
I just returned from a Carnival cruise where I attended a ‘Friends of Bill W’ meeting. It was held in the library (very small). There were six people there for other reasons who had no clue about ‘Friends of Bill W.’ There was no way for the ‘Friends’ group to talk privately without everyone in the room hearing what was said. This was a very uncomfortable situation. I wish Carnival would be open to letting ‘Friends of Bill W’ meet in a private area.
Comment by Lynda — November 29, 2010 @ 7:56 am
I am so glad to find that there are meetings of like minded folk that I can attend while on a cruise. I am planning our first cruise and as my partner and I are both a part of the fellowship, we usually will hit a meeting while traveling. Nice to know we can explore while in port and know that my worldwide support network is with me as always.
For those concerned about privacy, I am glad to be able to meet others who understand and then many would be available for private conversations, as I would be as well.
This cruising thing is looking better everyday.
Comment by Jay M — June 18, 2011 @ 10:32 am
This is really interesting. I work at a cruise booking agency – and I’ve been on a number of cruises where there were meetings for Friends of Bill W, but I never thought it’s for Alcoholics Anonymous. Live and Learn.
Comment by Ashot — July 6, 2011 @ 12:34 pm
AA is a place where people go who don’t drink. They are mostly happy and successful people, due to AA. The biggest mystery on cruise ships is not what friends of bill is its how some people can sit at a swim up bar for 4 hours drinking beer and never go to the bathroom. I go to friends of bill meetings, but I never go in a pool with a swim up bar.
Comment by Paul R — October 17, 2011 @ 2:58 pm
Thanks Paul! That made me chuckle!
Comment by RJ — October 17, 2011 @ 3:01 pm
Well, after reading the 4th comment (from “Friend of Bill W”), I can’t really say I disagree with the fact that “some” people would be well to know about it – members, mostly – and it so happens that a lot of them do NOT know…
I happen to have worked on a cruise ship for 7 years, and I do know all about those meetings and the controversy it raises; one day, I was sitting at the infirmary to treat a sprain (not fun for a musician, by the way), I saw a passenger inquiring about the AA meetings onboard, as he was unaware of the codename for it; to my despair, even the MEDICAL STAFF didn’t know about it, either!!!! I set them straight afterwards and they were ASTONISHED to discover that… Ditto for Dorothy…
Besides, rest assured, they keep it under the codename in order to misdirect those few who would have a bone to pick with either group, and none of them would ever look it up on the ‘net!
And even if they did, this posting here wouldn’t be considered as a smoke signal to flush them out in the open, Bill W. has his own Wikipedia entry that spells it out very clearly – ain’t that hard a code to break, really…
Me, I’ll tell you, it reassures me to know AA’s presence is global, for their sake! You probably even heard in an episode of The West Wing of the “card games” which are AA meetings for govt. officials…
It’s Anonymous, but it’s not secret! (and it still is anonymous)
P.S.: Paul R: most of them usually sip, but the heat making them sweat a lot allows them to wait longer before #1… They usually end up drinking loads of water afterwards ’cause they feel dehydrated come early evening!
Comment by Dave — November 8, 2011 @ 6:57 pm